I've just realised that I've never heard of, let alone met, most of the Tories who have been promoted in the reshuffle. Who is Cynthia Morbid, dynamic Eurosceptic former computer-games entrepreneur and corporate lawyer? Who is Giles Bottomfeeder, highflying grammar-school-educated onetime impresario of the centre-right think-tank Dildos? I think we need a new Andy Roth...